[In case you’re wondering: WE stands for Working Ear and is no indication of my having thoughts above my station]

[Warning: Spoilers for Sherlock season two]

WE: Welcome Mark Gatiss and Steven Moffat! Thank you for joining me in my head. It’s a bit crammed up here, sorry about that, I didn’t get around to spring-cleaning yet. Maybe you, Mr. Gatiss, will sit on this armchair I remember from my grandfather’s house and would you, Mr. Moffat make do with this swing from happy childhood days? It’s more comfortable than it looks.

[Gatiss and Moffat each take a seat and throw suspicious glances around.]

WE: Again, thank you for making the time. I’m sure you’re very busy at the moment what with filming the third season and so on.

[Polite smiles]

WE: So, let’s start with the first question. I’ve always wanted to ask you whether it’s more of a challenge or a relief for a screenwriter that so many people know the Sherlock Holmes adventures from the books, movies and TV renderings?

Gatiss: W…

WE: What I mean is – you know, on the one hand you have to meet the audience’s expectations and on the other hand you have to create suspense.

Gatiss: W…

WE: Is that, maybe, why you introduced the character of Dr. Stapleton but didn’t make her the murderer?

Moffat: N….

WE: Sorry to interrupt, but let me get this clear by another example. At the beginning of “The Reichenbach Fall” you seem to be wanting to build up some tension by this first scene in which Dr. Watson tells his therapist that Sherlock is dead. As if not everyone knew that his death was faked, haha [smiles getting more strained]. But then, shortly before the fall, you give clear indications of Sherlock planning something about his death and needing Molly, the mortician!, to help him carry out his plan.

Moffat: It…

WE: I was thinking that it was almost a bit schizophrenic to have this heart-breaking farewell scene, the fall, Sherlock lying in a pool of blood…and then just having him standing in the cemetery watching John Watson crying at his grave.

[Gatiss and Moffat exchange nervous glances]

Gatiss: W…

WE: Sorry to interrupt but let me formulate this in a question: I thought that maybe you wanted to serve both audiences? Those that knew the story and those that didn’t? Those who knew the story could start to wonder quite early on on how he did it. The others were allowed to waver between desperation (Sherlock is dead) and hope (I’m sure he’ll be okay, otherwise there would be no third season and it has already been commissioned by the BBC). Very clever of you. Then, again, I thought that [Moffat rolls his eyes] it is also possible that you wanted to develop the two very different points of view of Sherlock, the cold schemer walking over his own dead body, and Watson, the far more emotional character who is almost crushed by the loss of his best friend?

Gatiss: W…

WE: But that doesn’t stand to reason, does it? Because we know that Sherlock wants to protect Watson, Mrs. Hudson and Lestrade by faking his death, which is not cold and scheming but rather a nice trait. Hmmm – It seems you don’t want to shed any light on this. Or can’t? Maybe I should ask Steve Thompson [Moffat: YES], after all he wrote this episode.

Gatiss: G…

WE: Oh, I see our time has almost run up. So, thank you for these very interesting insights into your work! I’m sure, people can hardly wait for our next session. It’s been really fascinating…oh, they’re gone…well, tomorrow’s another day…Maybe the swing was not such a good idea. I should have another look at that scene in front of the fireplace before the next session and offer them comfy armchairs and a drink…[thoughtful pause]…

Oh, no! I completely forgot to ask them for the title of the third episode of S3. It would be funny if it was something like “The Prancing Women” [chuckles] or “The Four Garibaldis”… now that would be a bow to the confectionery industry…  [Falling asleep rambling.]

[Note to the esteemed creators of Sherlock, Mr. Mark Gatiss and Mr. Steven Moffat: Hope you’ll forgive me! Best intentions and everything…no offence meant.]